So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
