Nicole vs. Life
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
