oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
