So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
