Nicole vs. Life
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
