pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
