Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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