When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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