Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
