this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
