I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
