We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just cut my nipple shaving
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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