i wish my penis had a tongue
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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