he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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