When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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