Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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