i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
