Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
