i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You don't make any sense
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