Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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