Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Randomize
