The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
