It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
