Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
