yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
