i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
