Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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