Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
