but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
