thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
