The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
