she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
