apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
