break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
