hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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