she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
