you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
