I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
