I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
