only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
