I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
