At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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