He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
