why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
