My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
