she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
