does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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