dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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