Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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