I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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