is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
